Kelly Returns to the Blog

Obviously going back to work got the best of me for the past couple weeks. A whole new schedule and the start of soccer season for the kids makes training for a half-marathon an even bigger challenge. Though I haven't been blogging, I have been training and running. Still going to the gym and training with Greg a couple times a week and running when I can. I'm now lifting 30 pounds more on upper body workouts than my first week weight training! I've also figured out that I can run during soccer practices which makes me a fabulous multitasker. I can't remember much of anything beyond that for the past couple weeks..... Yesterday's long run was the longest distance and the longest continuous time running so far for me - 8 miles!! Going into it, I was thinking I have a month to go and there is NO WAY that I would be ready. Then I found my way to the Gold's in Gaithersburg, MD and told myself to suck it up. My visit to MD this time was full of mixed emotions for many reasons, and I needed to win this mind over body battle. The first 4 miles are actually not so bad anymore. In that much time, nothing is hurting and I haven't lost focus yet, the exertion still feels therapeutic. From there on, it's not so pretty, but it gets done! I've learned to play lots of mind games with myself - finish this mile and then walk 2 minutes, run through two more songs, one more infomercial on the tv, etc. Oh yeah, and try to resist the urge to pick up the cell phone and order things from the infomercial. See your mind and body are so tired that the amazing weed whacker looks like a must have after 20 minutes! While I was hurting and icing from the knees down last night, and whining every time I had to go up or down steps, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. As the miles get higher, the joints get fussier. More advil, more ice, more glucosamine and more Rocky songs into the iPod mix. :)

So while this week's training is full of lots of milestones, I think my personal reflection is more about life than running. Yesterday when I ran my 8 miles, I thought a lot about it also being the 9th anniversary of my mom's death. There were so many things that she wanted to do that she didn't get to. She lived through some rough times, health problems and managed to still care about people, usually too much for her own good. Everything that reminds me of my mom reminds me that I am not guaranteed any amount of time and I need to make the best of it. For those who have lived through the past couple years (and more) with me, you can reflect with me. As much as it's hard to admit, I spent much of the past 5 years + in my own withdrawn world. I not only didn't run, I barely moved from the couch or recliner. I put everyone else first, I worried what everyone would think, I let everyone else's needs control life, I hated to be selfish, I thought looking out for me was not being a good person. I don't know what clicked in my head, but over the past year I have come to see that taking care of me makes the people around me more happy also. The changes I've made physically and psychologically are priceless. I can admit that after three years of better living through chemistry, I am now free of anti-anxiety medication and feeling better than ever. For all of you that pushed me, listened to me and gave me new challenges, like this dern running thing, I am forever grateful.

Next weekend - 10 miles!!!!! ouch