Road trip

...or how to successfully survive a 9-mile run.

The key is to plan as if you were really going on a road trip in your car. First, you need to plot the route and the rest stops. I'd read that the point of weekly long-runs is to get your body used to the time and length of running long distances, not train for hills and speed, so I chose the C&O canal towpath (don't worry. It was a perfect low-humidity sunny day-no thunderstorms in the forecast.) It worked out that a one way trip from Edward's Ferry to White's Ferry, was the perfect 4.5 miles (round trip = 9 miles, for you math challenged). The turn-around at White's Ferry offered bathrooms and a store to buy Gatorade and water. I'd learned after that 8 mile run that turned into a 6.5 miles hobble that you're supposed to start Gatorade/carb replenishment after about an hour of running. OK then.

Here's a stunning portrait of me at the 4.5 mark, thanks to an incredulous lady who, despite being accosted by panting, sweat-crazed lunatic with a water bottle, an IPhone and an Ipod shuffle attached to various partsof her body, agreed to snap a picture to commemorate her half-marathon training. Yes, I look just like I always do. No glow, no aura of good-health or sunny endorphin-brimming smile. Looked pretty much the same at the end, too, except much more releived.


Like a road trip, I also provisioned myself with my IPhone, including the Pandora application which plays a continuous stream of my own personally programmed Internet music channel. I took my Ipod shuffle for good measure, because sometimes, you just need your old familiar work-out music to motivate and soothe you. I carried my trusty fanny-water-bottle-holder-pack, complete with money for Gatordade, my driver's license in case I died along the trail - to identify my body-- and my car key. Also, my big brimmed cap, in case the weather report was wrong again. This time I was NOT going to try to run in the rain with water streaming directly onto my glasses and making poor visibility worse.

My little toys were all useful, did not add significant weight to my run, and kept me endlessly entertaining adjusting and readjusting them through much of the run.

The only really bad part of the run started at mile 6.5, when it just got HARD. Not painful, not exhausting: it just required that the act of keeping going required my full concentration. The little brats on bicycles who had passed me once going up and once coming back had obviously moved the mile markers, or hidden them because I seemed to run forever and still not find them. That's OK,though, cause the first time they passed by me, I was singing the explicit version of EMINEMS "The Real Slim Shady," closing on the lyrics, "Fuck it, let's ALL stand up!" when their little pack of Brady Bunch family togetherness on color coordinated bikes and matching polo shirts came flying by from behind me and almost knocked me to the ground. I can only hope they heard the verse about knowing what a woman's clitoris is....

In the end, finishing the 9 miles was all a mind game. 3/4 of my brain kept whining, "This is too HARD," over and over again, until fortunately, the other 1/4 got fed up,slapped them all upside their faces, and shouted, "Duh, it's hard. What did you think? You're running NINE MILES, assholes! Shut to f@#$% UP AND KEEP RUNNING!"

Suffice to say I made it and drove home happy and proud--until I tried to get OUT of the car and found that all of the happy, endorphin-brimming muscles had cooled and stiffened into their original form and were now pain-wracked slabs of flab. Sigh. See you next week...only 1 month left to train.






y

Susan calls a moratorium or...

...excuses, excuses, excuses.

I made it to the gym once this week for Body Pump and some walking. The rest of the time I challenged myself to see how much really heinous food I could scarf down. I believe that 5 cream filled donuts at one sitting was this week's PR (hey, a PR is a PR!).

I know I am in trouble when I start eating in the car and whatever package of crap I am chowing down on never makes it home.. Other casualties of the basic food groups this week included entire bags of Twizzler Cherry Bites, Hershey Almond Chocolate Minis, and those caramel thingies with the powdered sugar inside. And a huge jar of mixed nuts. And my personal favorite, PIZZA! But don't worry, no vegetables, fruits or low-fat products were hurt in the massacre.

However, the free-fall descent into obesity and self loathing seems to have been halted rather rudely (THANK GOD!!!) by meeting Anna's boyfriend's family when, coincidentally, we all ended up at Uno's Chicago Pizza and Grill for dinner last night. She is a fitness goddess who enjoys going to the same gym as mine after work and on Saturday MORNINGS. Mercifully I have never run in to her. Note to Kelly: She is a "Chipper Jen" type. Also she qualified for the Boston Marathon on her 40th birthday (and every year there after, it seems) at the Baltimore Marathon. Anna introduce me as her mom who is training for the Baltimore Half-Marathon. At the time I was hoisting a handful of french fries to my mouth. Very auspicious start.

And so, rather than hoping my daughter breaks up with her boyfriend in order to save face, I have jumped (OK, not jumped, more like shuffled) back on the fitness wagon. Fortunately, there is a Chipper Jen in everyone's life, annoying us and prodding us to do our best, or even our worst, but just...as the commercial say, DO IT!

Kelly's Observations and Milestones

I've learned that long run days are the best time to think about what to write for the blog. While I'm running along trying to remember to breathe, I think about what I should write. The problem comes when I start thinking I need to write down my brilliant ideas before I forget them. Not so easy to do while running!! Anyway, here are the thoughts for today.

Observations:

• This continues to be an expensive sport. I went out and bought an iPod Shuffle today hoping that having one that clips to my shirt will be less hazardous to me and the iPod by limiting the number of times it drops and shoots across the gym off the treadmill.


• Don't give your trainer attitude. He is only then more inspired to add more reps, more sets, more weight, and more exercises...and he tends to remember the ones you hate the most. Oh, and never say, "Bring it on....". While I only pay for 30 minutes, he has been kindly keeping me busy for close to an hour each time.


• Don't roll your eyes at the trainer when he says, "Marilyn Monroe did these to keep her boobs perky!" He adds another set.......


• When you are watching music videos on the tv while listening to your iPod, it becomes pretty entertaining because the music doesn't match. Like today, the Rolling Stones were on the tv, but I was hearing Journey's Don't Stop Believing in my ears. Just made me laugh. OK, maybe that's only funny when you are running in place for an hour.


• I have learned that wearing tight, gray cotton shorts to run is not a great idea. By about Mile 4, you are covered in sweat and look like you have a problem with incontinence.


• Inner thigh chafing due to wet shorts begins around Mile 5.


• Around Mile 4 also comes the underarm chafing, which causes you to run the Chicken Dance half marathon training for the rest of the way as you try not to let your arms touch your body.


• Remember that the treadmill automatically stops after an hour. Let's just say this sudden stop was not one of the most graceful moments of the long run today.


• Around Mile 6, my right hip, knee, and ankle remembered that I am not a runner.


• If you only do weight training on weight training days, you run much better on running days.

Now for the milestones. I felt GREAT during today's long run. I went into it with a plan to try to eek out 5 miles in a decent time. For some reason I wish I knew, running was not so hard today. I didn't get sore or tired until the Mile 6 mark. THIS IS MY LONGEST RUN SO FAR!!! I ran 6 miles in 79 minutes which is about an average of 13.2 minutes per mile. If you remember when we started this blog, I was averaging about 15 minutes per mile. Yahooo!!! Progress. Now back to my ice. I really like the ice packs that strap on. Not to mention my pedicure still looks great!

AAAAARGH! or Susan Meets "The Wall."

So today I found out what the term "Hit the wall" means, and I am not amused. At 6.5 miles, with 1.5 to go to the scheduled 8 -- the EASIEST 1.5 I might add: on the home stretch... the legs just stopped running. Did they ask me? No, they just refused to do any more of that running nonsense. Since they had no choice, they were kind enough to keep walking until we all made it home, but clearly, they had had enough of me and the whole training for a half-marathon thing.

I should have known it was coming. At mile 5 I was on my way back home on Lewisdale Road and thinking how lucky I would be if I got hit by a car...and the ambulance would come and give me a ride to the hospital. My sports bra felt like a vice. My stomach was queasy and I was fervently wishing I hadn't eaten half a bag of M&M's for lunch. The whole"run 8 miles today" concept seemed like a damn stupid idea, given the hills, the temperature, the sun high in the sky and the sweat dripping into my eyes. The only GOOD thing was that my knees didn't hurt...oh yay.

...and that's all I have to say about week 4 of the Beginners' Half Marathon Training Schedule. I did two shorter runs this week - 3 and 5 miles - so not all was lost. Hopefully next week will be better; next week's long run is also 8 miles, so with luck I'll have cooler weather...and less rebellious legs.

Kelly- MOTIVATE ME!!!!!!

Got ice packs?

I am becoming very fond of my ice packs. I have named them Desi and Lucy and they spend most evenings and some mornings and afternoons perched cozily on my KNEES. Desi is on the left knee, the one that hurts like @#@%&#, although the nice man in the running store insists that it is not injured, just adjusting to lengthier runs. Desi looks over at Lucy, who is sitting on the one still-functioning yet also whimpering knee and yells: "Lucy, you got some 'spainin' to do!" His point being, as far as I can make out -- fortunately, I am both bilingual AND an ESOL teacher, so I can decode his screams--that she told him that just one more mile isn't that far, and he believed her. Or something. They (and me) both need a shot of "Vitametavegimin."

I finally made it to the gym today after a 4-day absence. Walked and ran two miles before Body Pump where I destroyed any remaining elasticity that Desi and Lucy had restored with squats and lunges, and then back on the treadmill for actually running another 3 miles. Yahoo! I am back on the training schedule.

The nice young lady working out beside me at Body Pump also had a knee brace on like mine. I call mine Cho Pat, since he also hangs out on my knees with Desi and Lucy, and I want us all to be friends. Actually, Cho Pat is the manufacturer's name, but I think of Cho Pat as an over-achieving Asian student who is striving for a 6 on his AP Calculus exam in seventh grade. Or get to the finish line of the half-marathon before my knees give out for good. Here is a photo of Desi, Lucy and Cho Pat chillin' with Sam Adams, another close, personal friend, after today's workout.



The nice lady and I bonded when it turned out she had gone to the doctor today to find out she was also suffering from "runner's knee." She started running back in January. She actually started to do her squats and lunges with a full weight load until I told her that was probably not a good idea. I think she was grateful for any excuse that would keep her from continuing to grimace and moan in pain in front of the full length mirror, so we both finished the sets without weights. It still hurt like #%@#%.

Well, fans, the next long run is scheduled for the weekend: 8 miles. The new Ipod Shuffle is locked and loaded, but fortunately (or not) the training schedule calls for another "short" 3.5 miles run between now and Saturday. I will try to catch up to Kelly's quickly evolving pace. Or not. I am old, and I am fairly certain that the AARP membership card contains a pace waiver for the elderly competing in any race over 10 feet. Or maybe I am thinking of a "pace maker," another useful piece of running equipment I may need to look into soon.

Kelly's Updates

It's been a while since I posted an update and some were suspecting that I had stopped training. I am still going - just took a mental break for a while spending time with visitors. Many thanks to those visitors who have been supportive and not complained at all when I left them (or dragged them with me) to go to the gym. I did discover though that a half marathon is equal to running from Castle Hayne on 40 to my house. YIKES! The furthest back I can remember is last Thursday. Deidre and I went to the gym to run together. She has better stamina than me so it was a good motivation to keep my butt moving. Two weeks before my time for 3 miles was 45 minutes. On Thursday my 3 miler was cut down to 40 minutes, mostly by actually jogging and not walking most of the way. Friday the kids and Raf waited patiently for Deidre and I to go to the gym again so we could all go to the beach. It was upper body workout day with Greg. Then I thought about running for the first 30 seconds on the treadmill and quickly decided NAH!!! Instead I went for working on the leg muscles and walked 45 minutes with the incline cranked up between 8 and 10. Later at the beach, I foolishly challenged Zach to race me to the pier. Well, he took off and left me in the dust (sand I guess) instantly, then mocked me by running backwards in front of me. He's lucky I couldn't catch him! Anyway, at least I jogged to the pier and back to the group without dying. Later I learned the lesson of running in bare feet and spent some time with ice on my poor, arthritic toe. Saturday and Sunday were rest days with just walking around the aquarium and downtown Wilmington. Today it is 100 degrees here, but I ran anyway. Shew! It sure was tough running in the air conditioning while watching the hot people outside through the window! :) Greg stood me up - guess he forgot we changed the time. We will have words on Weds!! So today's task was to see if I could cut some time off the 3 miler. BINGO!! Today's 3 miler time was 38:40. Today's run felt great, mostly because I actually RAN most of it instead of walking. I ran a non-stop mile (yeah I know, I signed up for 13.1) for the first time which did more for the psychological part of this training than anything. My calves and shins are fighting me as much anymore. I see progress, I feel progress, I just might make it........

Susan just keeps going and going...like a damn fool.

After the comfort and success of running 7 miles in the relative safety of my neighboring country roads - as opposed to running alone on an isolated canal towpath in a thunderstorm- I drove around the local countryside like a stalker, noting mileages. I figured out there is a variety of combinations of routes all the way up to 12 miles. That last 1.1 mile is just gonna have to be run at the Half-Marathon on faith---and insanity. I know this is of no use to anyone but me, but here is my spiffy map. See it and be amazed.


And then because it makes no sense to be logical, after all that effort, I drove to the gym, to do some miles on the treadmill. Yes, friends, there IS a treadmill in my basement, but my feet, knees, and legs in general hurt so much figured that I would warm up on the treadmill at the gym and then do some weight training. Oddly enough, once I started on the treadmill NOTHING hurt... I ended up walking/running 5 miles. I DON'T GET IT. When I'm passing out on the couch watching endless reruns of Law and Order, House, and NCIS everything throbs and I despair of completing even one mile of the 13.1. I wish there were some rule of thumb to tell you which pain is a pain that will go away by exercising and which pain signals that your kneecap will become unscrewed and go rolling across the floor if you as much as bend over to tie your sneakers on.

I am too old for this...

If it feels this crappy after running only 7 miles, how is it going to feel after 13.1???? I miss Advil, 'cause Tylenol doesn't do it.

Susan runs 7 miles, thanks to Dave

Long run today, and I tried out a new route around the neighborhood. The bad news is that it includes about half a mile on a back-country commuter road, but there appears to be plenty of shoulder room most of the way and leads to two good smaller roads for more mileage. I made the 7 miles OK, in spite of much internal whining and complaining. That short conversation with the nice salesman in the running shop yesterday turned out to be more useful than I realized. I now know that the aching knees afterward is just a sign that yes, I exercised. If it doesn't hurt during the run, probably I am not injuring my precious self so "quitcherbitchin..." Interesting things I observed today were:

1. It's hard to get out of the house in the first place when you are wearing spandex running shorts, a stupid looking pink fanny pack laden with a half-frozen water bottle, a sweatstained cap and the ever-wonderful old-lady upper arm wings.
2. 
3. For the first mile, all I can think of is the panoply of irritations, aches and pains that are clamoring for my attention: achy knee, itchy shorts, scratchy throat, heel pain signaling possible plantar fasciistis, wishing I'd brought gum, dull pain where the thigh bone meets the hip, hunger, etc etc. Oddly enough, these all disappear by the end of the the second mile.
4. It helps to remember that not long ago even walking for thirty minutes was something I had to work up to.
5. It also helps when you notice that the same hills that once loomed like mountains are now just bumps to go up and then, go down on the way to somewhere else.
6. Running without music would be INSANE. And oddly, the Theme from Rocky usually pops up in your Ipod Shuffle just when you need it to keep going. Today, it was the third song...
7. Water is very very good -- if nothing else drinking it keeps you from dying of boredom.
8. Knowing that the next day you will be going out for an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet is also a good motivator.
9. Since I started running and "racing" (and I use that word loosely) for the first time 15 years ago I continue to notice that the last mile is fast, and even fun, no matter what the distance. Funny, huh?
   
10. It is difficult to ice your butt. So I have not included a photo here. Lucky for you.
    
11. .

OK, race fans, only 9.5 weeks to go. This morning I didn't think I could run 10 yards today...and look what happened!

Kelly's Back in the Saddle Too

I'm so glad Susan posted her weekend training regime. I feel less guilty now. I spent the weekend icing my back, drinking mojitos and hard root beer floats. I did walk/jog a little on the beach Saturday just to look cool. Went back to the gym today and Greg made me feel bad. I swear I could not walk Friday, but he somehow makes me second guess my choice to let me back recover. He was kind enough not to make me repeat the lower body routine that did my back in in the first place. He did a fabulous job, I must admit, of giving me a circuit to do that stretched my hip and back and made it feel much better. I took it easy on the treadmill with 2.5 miles of walking. Tomorrow I am going to try to get back to at least 4 miles since I have no weight training. My shins are already protesting the thought......

Back in the saddle again.....

After not making it to the C&O Canal towpath for a 7-mile run the second day in the row, I made a mental health detour to If The Shoe Fits, the running store in Fredrick, for a specialized knee stabilizer and other running detritus that I could probably live without, but really, why? I had a lovely conversation with the salesman of my own age-persuasion, obviously a "real" runner. He explained that my knee pain was not caused by real knee problems, but rather by my increasing weekly long-run mileage and not to worry about it, especially since it doesn't hurt WHEN I run, just afterward. I bought the "Cho-Pat Dual Action Knee Strap" anyway, since it has such a cool name and I gotta have SOMETHING to get me through those Body Pump squats and lunges.

He also recommended a fanny-pack water bottle holder that looks stupid (as all fanny packs do) but feels good running, even with a full bottle of water. It will hold my panoply of electronic equipment as well. He had good advice about where to do long runs, and seemed to think that running the Baltimore Half-Marathon was a peachy keen idea for a person of my advanced minutes per mile. He said, "If you think you can do it, then you will." Basically, in one way or another he confirmed that my training plan is on the right track. I was hoping he had a magic trick or two, but no...run, rest, and listen to your body seems to be the basic plan.

Then off to the gym for Body Pump, some weights for the hip flexors, and a 3-mile walk on the treadmill. Now it's home to ice - alas, no more Advil for moi-and NCIS repeats. On the way home I mapped out a 7 mile run in the neighborhood. Maybe tomorrow....if the weather holds.

OK, Kelly. Your turn.